You Started It!!

I have two boys. And like any set of boys under one roof, there are going to be issues between the two.

Well my boys are no different. Jalen is the oldest and the apple of his little brothers' eye.....even if Jalen hates the new job title.

Whatever Jalen does Chase will too. Good, bad, or indifferent, Chase is going to copy what his brother does.

Last summer Jalen, because he is not a big fan on having shoes on if he doesn't have to, kept leaving his shoes at home when we would go out.

On one of our weekly visits to the library. We arrived, ready to go inside, to realize that Jalen forgot his shoes at home.....30 minutes away!!!

A few weeks later....on our way to the library....Chase did the exact same thing!

Now the things aren't limited to cute adorable things. It pans to all sorts of things. What he eats, what he will reject, what toys he likes...even what clothes he wants to wear. Chase first has to see what is happening in Jalen's universe!

But all things considered....Jalen is a great role model and helps to pull Chase out of his Autistic world. Even if they do bump heads ocassionally.

Oppositional Definance......not in my house!

I am trying not to tackle my son. I only have one nerve and he is sitting all of his weight on it.

What am I referring to? My son has hit a phase of oppositional defiance and I'm not quite sure how to handle it.

When I say, "This is the way it goes." he wants to know why? When I say he can't have something...he wants to know why not. Or he will respond, "But Jalen did it!". When I ask him to stop questioning me or stop arguing with me, I get one more "But Mom!"

Most of the kids in my house will accept 'No'. They realize that they can't always have what they want. They all fully understand that the world does not revolve around all of their wants and needs. But not Chase. We can go back and forth four or five times and it just drives me batty! I know, I know. I'm the adult and I'm SUPPOSED to have the patience of Job. But there are days when I just don't think I have it in me.

You see, all kids will test you. They want to know if the rules will change from day to day. They want to make sure Mom is on her toes with the discipline. One moment all the rules I have in place are working like a well oiled machine and then the next moment a child of mine smarts off. Or another ignores a request that is given unless I raise my voice. I know. All kids do it. But it is harder to get a child with a disability to stay within the lines sometimes.

They don't always understand why you are telling them to do something that they don't want to do. They don't always understand why your commands are for their own good. And there in lies the rub!

I love my son. He's sweet, affectionate, gives me great eye contact when he speaks to me and an awesome student in school. By some standards I am so ahead of the game when it comes to him, that I should just take it in stride. But I can't. I have high expectations for my son...for all of my kids.

I am teaching my kids how to be productive, tax paying citizens. All of them. I try not to differentiate discipline between the kids. I don't treat my kids with Autism any different than I treat my kids without.

But in the mean time, if could just mold that stubborn streak that he apparently inherited from me all would be well!

That didn't go as planned!

It's a new year with new possibilities!!

I have decided, along with millions of my closest friends, that this is the year that I make a big change in my life....mainly regarding my health.

This year I turn 45 and as it is continually pointed out to me, the older you get the harder it is to drop the weight! Yeah, Yeah......tell me something I don't know!

Well in my quest for that fountain of non-old fartness I found a great cookbook by Rocko Dispirito called Now Eat This. I was so excited to get the book and immediately went to the store to fix a few things that caught my eye.

This book touted the calorie savings but the same flavor! I was so looking forward to preparing this stuff for the kids. That's when the problems began.

The kids looked at their plates like I had placed my severed head on it! One didn't like the look of it, the other didn't like the texture. One child even asked why didn't it taste like my regular fried chicken. All the while I was REALLY enjoying the food....until I looked up from my plate!

That's when I realized, that in my eagerness, I hadn't thought my kids would be on a different page or should I say plate!

With the kids, I have adjusted my palate to eating what I knew they would eat. No casseroles....they don't like the change of texture of things when they eat. Being aware of who likes what texture, who judges their food based on sight. Who hates vegetables the most and preparing what will go down nice and easy.

In my excitement I forgot about the kids....I was just thinking of myself.

So, even though I don't want to be a short order cook....until I can change the palettes of the kids, I'm going to have to cook two meals for dinner. (insert big sigh here)

Hmmmmm.... but there are brownies in the cookbook........

Thankful for my Munchkins

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! But not only is it Thanksgiving it is my babies 8th birthday.

The twins are so excited and are making me drive to Toys r us tonight before they close since they won’t be open at a decent hour on Thanksgiving Day. Those munchkins are lucky I love them!!!

We have a tradition that on their birthday (since it is exactly 30 days before Christmas) they get to select one gift, anything they would like, as their present.

It’s a small thing for them and they are always so thankful for the gifts they receive but this also makes me reflect on things I am thankful for.

I am thankful that my kids are healthy and thriving despite the obstacles that we have to tackle on a daily basis.

I am thankful that I didn’t fully buy into the diagnosis that was given to Chase six years ago.

I am thankful that Alexis has always been his biggest supporter….they say twins have a special bond and I see it everyday with those two!

I am thankful for every smile, eye connection, hug, kiss and silly 8 year humored joke I’m told.

I am thankful for their being born to me.

The Talented and Gifted Program (TAG)

I have 4 babies. Well they aren't babies....except to me. I have a 16 year old daughter, a 9 year old son and my twins are 7. So, as you can see they aren't really babies.

I have fraternal twins, Chase and Alexis. They are the sweetest things and are polar opposites on most things other than just their gender.

Alexis is the girly tomboy that wants to go outside and climb trees, swim, ride her bike or do any other outdoor activity all in high heeled shoes!

Chase on the other hand likes to stay inside, watch TV, play with his video game or eat, and not necessarily in that order.

Academically they had been kind of neck in neck....even though Chase is Autistic.

But recently Chase has been smoking Alexis in math and the math concepts. I think we have found his gift! I know it's widely thought that girls aren't as good in math as boys....but I was unprepared for this.

Chases' teacher wants him tested to be in the TAG (Talented and Gifted) program. TAG is usually reserved for what is considered the elite students in the school and once you are in TAG you are in it for your entire academic life before college.

I am so honored to hear that about Chases' abilities! But with any child with a disability, be it physical or otherwise, there are obstacles. Nothing is ever easy in the disability world.

So many questions, so much to understand! What does a TAG program look like for a child with a learning disability? Can they modify it for him? Can he be in TAG with an IEP(Individualized Education Program)? Will he need an Aid when he is in there? Will they even consider him for testing? And if the answer is No to most of these questions how do I change the system so there is a TAG for the learning disabled?

Sounds like there needs to be a few changes to the system and, I think I have new marching orders!!